Episode 31: Pack Mentality

Narrator: Welcome to Ghost Wax, a Far and Tall Tales Production. The following story may contain graphic content. Listener discretion is advised. 

Intro Music

Episode 31, Pack Mentality.

Recorder clicks on

Rugen: And what in Blazes is a bird feeder camera?

Voncid: Precisely what it sounds like, Mikhail. It's a camera that is affixed to a-.

Rugen: I can infer what it is, Cid. I'm not simple, for fuck's sake.

Voncid: Oh, perhaps you meant to ask, “Why. Why in blazes is a bird feeder camera.”  To that, I have no answer.

Rugen: beat Is this even going to work?

Voncid: I don't know. I don't know if I can make the connection, and if I do, I'm not sure how much we will get.

Rugen: Well, we won't know unless we bloody well try, will we?

Voncid: darkly, shifting to almost hurt by the end Is something the matter, Inquisitor?  I’ve tried answering two of your questions now and have been snapped at for both my answers.

Rugen: Yes, well… I… Stops struggling and admits It’s the damn Cypher, Cid.  Give me the days of the Red King.  Give me something I can sink my sword in.

Voncid: I’ll try to forgive that hideous thought, Rugen… I do understand though.  An ephemeral, decentralized foe is certainly harder to wrap one's head around.

Rugen: I’m a warrior, Cid.  I’m a fighter.  Half the time, I don’t have anything to fight here.

Voncid: We are old tools in a brave new world.

Rugen: Exactly.

Voncid: Still, I don't think our use is spent yet. 

Necromancy!!

He's waking.

Are you there? Can you hear my voice?

Mike:*gasp. disoriented, despairing* What's happening? Oh god, why can't I see? Am I me? Where am I? Hello? 

Voncid: There is nothing to fear, not now. You are no longer in danger.

Rugen: That's a rather interesting way to put it. 

Mike: Who are you? What's happening? I don't... I can't...

Voncid: It's alright; we are here to help. To answer your question, Michael, my name is Voncid, and this is my friend...

Rugen: Colleague.

Voncid: This is Rugen. Now, I know this is a shock, but-

Rugen: irreverently But! You're dead. The parts of you that are not currently working their way through the lower intestine of a particularly nasty creature of above-average intelligence and stink are being reanimated by my learned old friend, Voncid. He and I are here to make sure the beasties what did for you don't do for anyone else. By exterminating them with extreme prejudice.

Voncid: frustrated Will you people quit jumping in when we are establishing with the dead?  I have a way I… clears his throat, reigning in his frustration Rugen, this is a delicate procedure.

Rugen: And. time. sensitive.

Mike: Oh god, Anne! She's. She doesn't know; I wanted to, god, I tried to...

Voncid: It's alright, Micheal; Anne is quite safe. She is in a secure location in the care of members of our Order.

Mike: Order? What Order? Why can't I see anything? Why... can't I feel anything?

Rugen: With an exasperated huff You're dead, my boy. Shuffled off this mortal coil. Your too-sullied flesh has melted. To be or not to be is no longer a question you need ask. Trust me; you don't want a connection to your nervous system any more.

Voncid: I'll add poetics to your list of skills.

Mike: Then how... how am I talking? What’s happening? Why does my voice sound like that? 

Voncid: I know you have questions, but at present, my gruff colleague is right; time is of the essence. The creatures you encountered are still at large.

Rugen: And there's only so long we can be babysitting Anne. She will soon be out in the wide world again, and it stands to reason these beasts might try to find her. Seems to be their modus operandi.

Voncid: Aside Rugen, soften your touch, please.

Mike: Alright, okay. I... Where do I start?

Voncid: When you first noticed anything out of the ordinary. Try not to leave anything out. Any detail, no matter how seemingly unimportant, could prove invaluable.

Mike: Okay, so like a week ago, maybe? Wait, what day is it? How long have I... how long have I been dead?

Voncid: It's. ... It's been five days since you went missing.

Mike: Oh, god. steeling himself Alright. About a week before I went missing, then. I was cutting through the park on my way to work. Most mornings, I'll grab a coffee for this guy Evan who lives in the park. If I've got time, we'll shoot the shit for a minute or two. That morning he told me that there was a pack of dogs in the park and that they were scaring the other animals away. I didn't really pay any attention to it. Evan's a little... I don't know. He’s not all there. A while back, he told me that guys on motorcycles were pointing listening devices at him and that they'd been tracking him ever since he escaped the psych ward by hiding his meds under his tongue. clears his throat So, yeah, he's not always a reliable source, but he's harmless. I mean, he was. He was a nice guy. So, I continued through the park, and I don't know if he spooked me or whatever, or if I was in my head, but I thought I noticed that there were less animal sounds, like birds and stuff, and that there were less.. squirrels. And that the squirrels I did see looked... you know.. squirrelier? than usual. I don't know. So I went to work like normal that day. Oh, and when I was on my way home, I saw a raccoon had been hit by a car just outside the park. That was weird. I'd never seen that before. It was especially weird because it wasn't there in the morning, and raccoons are nocturnal, right? 

Rugen: Crepuscular.

Mike: What?

Voncid: Rugen is being pedantic.  Crepuscular, it means of or relating to twilight, or in this case, an animal that is active at dawn and dusk.

Rugen: I'm pedantic?

Mike: Okay, anyway, a couple of days later, there was a possum hit in pretty much the same spot; I just thought of that. I don't know if it's important or not.

Rugen: You just tell us everything you remember, leave deciding what's important with us.

Voncid: more gently That could indeed be important, Michael. It could be that the creatures were tormenting the other animals, making a game of herding them to that spot to frighten them out into traffic.

Mike: aghast Jesus. Why?

Voncid: It's hard to say.

Rugen: Not that hard. A lot of animals kill for reasons other than food. Territory. Fear. Competition. But the smart ones? Your apes, your dolphins? The ones like you or me? They're the ones who will kill just because they like it. Makes them feel strong. Blooms a world of potent, pleasurable chemicals. That's what we're dealing with here.

Mike: What are we dealing with? What are these things.

Voncid: Though relatively rare, they are widespread.  Dozens of species and subspecies… I don’t want to… color your thoughts over much, but we believe you to be the victim of a thing called a volkim. They seem to be animals… but they are not.

Mike: Okay, so, that night, just as I'm walking out of the park, I thought I heard someone calling my name from deeper inside, like in one of the woodsier areas. I turned back and looked towards the forest. The sun wasn't down yet, but with the buildings and trees blocking out the sun, it was dark in there, not like city dark, like country dark, primordial dark and deep, and I had promises to keep. I didn't feel like walking back into the park to investigate a mysterious voice. That's how you end up in the beginning of a Cold Case Files or something. 

I- I think it might have been Evan's voice. I couldn't really make it out, but, if I'm honest with myself, I think it was him. But he didn't call out again when I stopped, and the woods looked... indifferently dangerous. Beat I don't know. I had nightmares that night, not the usual "I didn't finish the reports due today" or even the old ones from when I was waiting tables where my section kept getting sat, and I forgot to put an order in. Just like, dark ones about running in the dark, being chased. Hunted. And not even feeling scared, really, just like ice in my chest, cold certainty I was about to become part of the food chain. When I woke up, everything seemed kinda goofy in the bright light of day, and I really started to feel bad about ignoring Evan. So, I left a little earlier than usual and picked us up a couple of bacon, egg, and cheeses to go along with our coffees. I figured I would have breakfast with him by way of apology. I went to where his cart is always parked under the little walking overpass, but he wasn't there. I called out for him, and I don't know if it was the Yips or what, but man... I was a little freaked out. It was so quiet. I mean, sounds of the city and whatnot in the background, but right there, in that immediate vicinity, it was silent. I started to feel like I was being watched. But more than that, like stalked, like real Serengeti shit. Hairs on the back of my neck, the whole nine. Swallows hard I had to force myself to chill out. Like when you were a teenager, and you have to make yourself walk up the steps out of the basement even though you want to do that, all-fours run up them, but you're not a little kid anymore, so you have to walk up like an adult even if it means you get eaten by the basement monster. Laughs I put the bacon, egg, and cheeses and one of the coffees on the cart and walked as fast as was socially acceptable out of there. And as I was going, I thought I heard Evan's voice again, but when I stopped to look back, something moved in the underbrush, entirely too close to me to be an ordinary, law-abiding animal. Whatever it was made a sound, squeak squeak and I jumped.  I brushed it away immediately; it couldn’t have been, but… I thought I heard my name. Softly  “Mike.  Mike.” Like someone I knew… trying to call me over to them. And then as I heard it, or thought I did, I was hit with this shock of a memory.  I can’t place where I heard it, if it was a documentary or a horror movie or what, but this story I had heard.  How some African huntsman claim that hyenas, packs of hyenas, will listen, night after night, and learn the names of members of remote tribes.  They learn your name and then, they call to you… call from out beyond the firelight, luring you into the dark. Even as shivers rolled up and down my arms and back I shook it off.  It was ridiculous and I was certainly not in the dark savannah night. But I was gonna be late for work, so I picked up the pace and kept walking. I never really shook it off, that feeling. Naturally, I was distracted all day. I kept fucking things up at work. My caveman brain wouldn't let me focus on spreadsheets when it thought I was about to get eaten.

Rugen: laughs/scoffs A lot of humanity would do better to listen to those small voices you try so hard to drown out. You rarely ever see people look up from those infernal screens, and when they do, they have the little buds in their ears piping in whatever passes for entertainment these days.

Voncid: Oh, for god's sake, Rugen, take a break, even I think you sound old.

Mike: Laughs. Yeah, I gotta hit you with an "okay, boomer" after that little rant.

Rugen: What in red fuck is a "boomer"

Voncid: doing damage control He obviously means because of how you… boomed in and interrupted… and the loud intonation.

Mike: Um actually, it's, ah, never mind. Beat Yeah, so, shitty day at work. I nearly got written up, and then, on my way home, I make an excuse to myself to not walk through the park. Decided I wanted to go out of my way to pick up from the Dumpling place Anne and I like, play it off like it's a cute little surprise. I... still haven't told her any of this stuff, by the way. I hassle her too much when she gets her “spooky feelings” to have her turn it around on me. .. Anyway, Anne suggested we walk through the park to get gelato after dinner, and I just... shut it down. No good reason, just “no.” … Then we got into a fight… Fuck, man. It was so stupid. I wish to god now that I'd just talked to her. Wait. Beat. Can I? Can I talk to her now? Just to say-

Voncid: I'm afraid that's impossible, Michael. As painful as it is, it's best for Anne to leave things as they are. She will heal quicker this way.

Mike: with another sigh Yeah, that makes sense. This isn't fucking Ghost. I can't just be like, "Annie, You in danger, girl."

Voncid: As I said, she is not in danger, and It would be… a very troubling encounter for a number of reasons, best to put it out of your mind.

Mike: Yeah, no, never mind. Ahh, so we fought, and the next morning she left for a conference. I texted her I loved her before she got on the plane. She Han Solo'ed me with an "I know." which isn't quite a make up, but I guess it's as good as I'm gonna get. That morning, Evan's cart and tent were gone. The area where the tent was looked kinda trampled. Like the grass was a little torn up, almost like there had been a party or something. I didn't stick around to investigate. I had gotten him a coffee again, but once I saw his stuff was gone, I dropped it in the nearest trashcan and b-lined it outta there. Beat I had that feeling like I was being watched the whole way. On the other side, as I was walking down to the train, I looked back, and this is crazy, but I felt like the whole park was watching me, almost holding its breath, waiting for me to come back. beat I got to work and was feeling even worse than the day before. I think some of my buddies picked up on it, and since they also knew Anne was out of town, skimming this part they persuaded me to go out for happy hour. I got a little drunker than I planned on. As per usual, but it was the first chance I'd had to relax in days. settling back into realtime By the time I got to my stop, it was dark dark. I was so close to walking around the park, but a combination of liquid courage and toxic masculinity got the better of me, and I marched right into it. beat If I felt like I was being watched before, it's off the charts now. I've got goosebumps everywhere, and the beer sloshing around in my stomach feels like it's gone ice cold. I pick up the pace, but keep it cool. Still trying for some goddamn reason to still play it cool. Then, I start hearing things off to the side, off the trail in the underbrush. Just a little at first, we can hear the breathing too but then it gets louder and more consistent. When I realize it's coming from both sides, I finally say, "fuck it." and start running. Whatever was following me.. is pacing me now. I’m catching glimpses of shapes in the darkness, hearing the breathing. I keep feeling like I'm almost hearing voices like someone behind me is whispering my name. "Mike... Mike." Like they're trying to get my attention, trying to get me to turn around. deep breath , holds it, sighs God, I can almost hear them now. beat I come around the corner, and there's this... thing standing there. I can't really see it. It's the size of a huge dog already, but its shoulders and head are even bigger, and in that instant before I turn to run in the other direction, I swear it's laughing at me. A beat filled with an echoing cackle of a giggle If I'd been looking behind me, I wouldn't have seen it in time, would've run right into it... I feel like I start to put some distance between myself in this thing, but as I do, I realize I'm deeper in the park... these things are herding me deeper into the park. But there's nothing I can do. I just run till I feel like my lungs are gonna explode. Then, somehow, I see an exit, not the one by my apartment, but I want to get the fuck out of the park by any means necessary. So I put my head down and run. I can hear these things chasing me, hear the sound of claws hitting the pavement, and I swear to Christ, something like laughter, like they're having fun. Then, I hear Evan's voice ahead of me saying, "Run, Mike, they're right behind you! Come in here!" And it's Evan, of all people, but I barely even process it. The voice is coming from the top floor of one of the abandoned buildings at the edge of the park, and there’s a shadow in one of the windows that I guess has to be Evan. The plywood is pulled off of the door to this building, and I don't even slow down as I clear the steps up the stoop. I hear Evan's voice again, "Come upstairs. It’s safe!" It's dark in there, but I see the stairway easily enough, and I fly towards it. I start up the steps, gonna take them three at a time, but instead of hitting the third step, my foot doesn’t hit anything, and the world lurches around me. A split second later, my chest slams against broken wood. I realize part of the staircase is missing, and I'm scrabbling there for dear life. I gasp, try to scream, but I can’t get any air, and there’s this sharp stab in my ribs… I think some of the broken wood punched into me. I tried, um, to reach up, to grab one of the posts in the railing, trying to pull myself up, but it broke loose, and I fell back into... I don’t know, into the dark, into open space... The last thing I hear is Evan's voice saying, "Watch out for that first step." deep breath I woke up. I don't know how much later. I tried to yell, but I could barely croak. I think I broke something in my chest when I hit the stairs. I can't move my legs at all, so maybe I broke something in my back too. I heard Evan's voice again. He was talking about the Bacon, Egg, and Cheeses, saying how good they were, but he wished he had hot sauce, that he missed hot sauce more than anything. Beat I was flat on my back, and I could barely move, but I managed to crane my neck to see the shadowy form of Evan leaning against a pole in the shadows not too far away. I tried to move, but it felt like my arm was trapped.. under something or maybe asleep, like completely numb. I reached over to move whatever it was pinned under and it was... gone. I couldn't move my arm because it was gone. Just a nub of bone, sticking out of my shoulder. I tried to scream. .. But I passed out. 

Suffice it to say I had some pretty terrible dreams then. You know that feeling when you're having a nightmare, and you wake up and say, "Oh, thank god, it was just a dream."? When I woke up, I wished I could go back to the nightmare.  

I felt like someone was shaking me, like short, sharp tugs. I opened my eyes and could see a little daylight streaming in through the broken staircase. If I craned my neck far enough, I could look down at my torso, and… there were those fucking dogs, or whatever. 

They were eating me. 

I couldn't feel it, so I guess whatever I did to my back was pretty high up. But, god damn, that feeling of looking down and seeing your body being eaten, you just can't fucking process that. It doesn't make sense. 

Looking down at them, their faces just covered in gore.. they were really expressive. And their paws, they looked like hands, like human hands. These dog things were holding me down with their hands while they tore off chunks of me. I guess I made a sound or something because one of them looked up at me. And it smiled. And I knew that smile.  "I'm sorry, Mike. You were always nice to me, but things are different now. You can see that, right?" It was Evan's voice, I let my head fall back, and I could see Evan. Or what was left of him. It was just his torso there. Left sitting up like some sick Halloween decoration. The top of his head was sitting in his lap. The thing with Evan's voice walked over to me and sat down, blocking my view. "That's not me anymore, Mike, don't worry. I'm part of the pack now. Not just me, but lots of people." 

So, I asked it why. Why it was doing this? The horror and revulsion were overpowering the part of my mind that wanted to live. I... I asked it to kill me, to…  forces out the words to kill me first before they kept eating… but it shook its head. "We save the brain for last, Mike. Not only is it the best part, all that fat and juice," it had the audacity to lick its chops when it said that. "but that's when you join the pack, when one of us eats your brain. So we keep you alive cause we want the brain to be as fresh as can be, for your mind, your thoughts, and memories to be as fresh as can be. But we can't eat the brain before the body, ‘cause then we would be eating a member of the pack, you know?" It leaned its head back like it was smelling something or letting the breeze caress its face and said, "I can feel myself slipping into the pack, Mike, a little less Evan, a little more pack each morning. It feels good to belong, Mike." It looked back at me and said. "Anne's back from her trip. I saw her last night. She’s worried about you, I think. It won't be long now till you're part of the pack, then we can go get her, and she will be too. You guys can be together again. We've got a great place lined up for our next den, the boat house on the lake in Prospect Park. It's closed till August of next year. Think about that! Right on the water! And we can go to the zoo at night, Mike! You'll like it here, Mike, both of you. I promise." He laid down, crossed his weird hand-like paws, lay his head down on them like a fucking golden retriever. I started to tell him to stay the fuck away from Anne, I somehow managed to put some power into my voice, got out the first thing louder than a croak since I fell down here. I guess that pissed off the rest of them, or maybe they were just finished eating, because one of the others looked up at me, got up, and walked toward my face, maintaining eye contact the whole fucking time. It said, evil cackle/giggle "Shh… Only dreams now."

Oh God, it sounded like a kid's voice, and the last thing I saw was its jaws closing over my face. I heard my own skull cracking crack and then... and then nothing really, maybe some dreams, I can't really remember, then you woke me up.

Voncid: Thank you, Michael. That was quite informative. We should have no trouble tracking down the rest of the pack.

Mike: The rest? You already got some of them?

Rugen: One of them, they're tough bastards, and smart, like I said. But we did manage to catch one. 

Mike: Which one?

Rugen: The one that absorbed you, Son, made you part of it. 

Mike: Wait. So... I'm one of them? You, right now, panic rising you're talking to one of them? I’m… oh my god that’s why I can’t, why… let me see, no don’t-

liquid calming magic

Voncid: In a manner of speaking, yes. But these matters are very complicated. Through certain practices known to me, I was able to fortify the barrier between you and the mind of the creature. Calm, breathe.  Breathe in the mist, let it settle over the fear and rage.  Shh, it will be alright.  These monsters are very strong, Michael, but you are very strong. We were able to pull you forward from within the pack, you are your own.

Mike: despairing, but accepting So I'm one of them. .... I'm a killer, a monster.

Rugen: You are you, Son, Mike…

Mike: Matthews.

Rugen: Mike Matthews. I had my doubts, but what you said here today laid them to rest.

Mike: Only because you caught me in time.

Voncid: These creatures are devilishly smart, Michael. Rugen is one of our best hunters, and he was completely at a loss.

Rugen: ..I wouldn't say completely.

Voncid: We think you let yourself be caught, slowed your host just enough.  

Rugen: Let Anne see you, too. Fouled up their hunt. Tipped her off. She got a look at you one night when you and the pack came calling. Even got some footage of you in a bird feeder camera she said you set up as a gift for her. You looked right at it, like you wanted to be seen.

Mike: sad laugh She loves birds. 

Voncid: And you must love her, Michael. It seems there was enough of you left in the creature's mind to protect Anne from suffering the same fate as you and Evan.

Rugen: Well done, lad, you fought a hell of a fight in there. You saved her. Take that to your rest. And, now that you’ve told us where to find them, leave the pack with us. beat I think you can let him go now, Cid.

Mike: Wait, I'm sorry. Am I... me. Am I going to.. What’s next? (beat.) Is there something next?

Voncid: Despite the ordeal you've had over the past 12 days, you've discovered that there are more things in heaven and earth than were previously dreamt of in your philosophy. Yes?

Mike: You could say that.

Voncid: Not all of it's terrible, Michael Matthews. There is wonder and goodness, warmth and light, yet to be discovered in this world and in the worlds beyond it. You go now to do that discovering.

Mike: deep breath Okay, I'm ready. Um.. if there's a way, just tell Anne...

Rugen: She loves you too, Mike. She made that clear.

Mike: I know.

a beat of silence as Voncid lets Mike go

Voncid: It is done. He... they are all gone.

Rugen: Do you believe that, Cid? What you said about what's next for the part of Mike Matthews left in that creature?

Voncid: It’s complicated. Certainly we might hope for...

Rugen: If you can't speak plainly with me, Cid, then why bother talking at all? 

Voncid: sigh I hope so, Mikhail; I really do.

Recorder clicks off

Narrator: Thank you for listening to Ghost Wax, a production of Far and Tall Tales. Find us at farandtalltales.squarespace.com. Ghost Wax is an independent podcast so if you liked this show, please rate and review, and consider joining us on Patreon at Patreon.com/farandtalltales

Also give a listen to our fantasy role play show Could've Been Heroes for something completely different. 

Ghost Wax is written and directed by Robert Knutson 

Production and editing by Aaron Schoenrock

Our theme song is by Beau Hoover.

This episode was written by Mark Garkusha, and features Robert Knutson as Voncid, Mark Garkusha as Rugen, and Dwayne Cooper as Mark Mathews.