Episode 43: Just Perfect

Narrator: Welcome to Ghost Wax, a Far and Tall Tales Production. The following story may contain graphic content. Listener discretion is advised. 

[Intro Music]

Episode 43, Just Perfect

Recorder clicks on

Cypher: narrating as if the world is a shooting script  Interior, a well furnished, comfortable home. Morning.

Dappled light falls through breezy cream colored curtains on the sleeping face of Phillipa, twenties, pretty, peaceful.  Her eyes open, a moment of confusion.*

Pip: sudden gasp, her mind at conflict with her feeling of comfort and pleasant surroundings Uh, jesus. What happened? Where… I…? What did-, shit is What the fuck?

Noah: mmm, hey, good morning.

Pip: Oh fuck, who the fuck are you.

Noah: not surprised you are such a weirdo. Bad dreams again?

Pip: Just not expecting… You’re going to have to do better than one shirtless, albeit gorgeous man if you’re trying to get in my head.

Noah: not just shirtless.

Pip: oh lord…

Noah: playful Stop talking to your bad dreams or I’ll have you committed. Did you want coffee?

Pip: No.

Noah: genuine concern  Hey… you ok?

Pip: Nothing you need to worry about.

Noah: Ok.  Coffee.  I’ll see how solidified the bagels are.

Pip: Yeah… 

phone ringing

Pip: fearfully …hello? 

Luca: I’m on my way, you’re awake right?

Pip:  Luca?

Luca:  Ugh, you sound like death.  

Pip:  Sorry, I’m beyond disoriented… 

Luca: Did Noah keep you up late?

Pip: I… who?

Luca: cute, cute, I won’t pry, but Pip, he’s a keeper.

Pip: right…

Luca: Just have a nice morning.  I’m coming to get you.

Pip: …ok.

Cypher: the beautiful man returns with delicious smelling coffee.  Brazilian.  Phillipa’s favorite.  The beautiful man doesn’t seem to hear the narration, but Pip does, and realization washes over her.

Noah:  There she is… god you’ve got a beautiful smile. Coffee always brings out your nice side. 

Cypher: she hadn’t realized she was smiling.

Pip: Ohhhh boy…

Noah: you hit it harder than I thought last night.  You had fun?

Pip: Umm, hit what?

Noah: DJ said you two had a blast. 

Pip: Right.

Noah: not quite with us yet.

Cypher: as he brushed the hair out of her face she felt a thrill.  The kindness… tenderness of his touch was palpable.  Gentle warmth spread from her heart.  He loves her.

Noah: I think you’re still dreaming a little bit, aren’t you, star-girl?

Cypher: How much she was dreaming was totally up to her.

Noah: Anyway, I’ve gotta get to work, but I’ll be back in a few hours to help watch the shop so you can get ready. 

Pip: I… pulls herself away from the seductive feelings one thing at a time. WHO is DJ?

Noah: … are you sure you’re ok?  Hell of a hangover.  If Dottie let you get sick before your big night I’m going to kill her.  

Pip:  WHAT? Why was I with Dottie?  Dottie Jean Barlowe?

Noah: yeah, DJB!  You guys celebrated at the Ardent.

Pip She was at the… the Ardent.

Noah: Yeah, unless you have a new favorite bar?  She said you went to your favorite, I assumed it was there.

There is a knock on the door.

Noah: I’ll get it.  Drink your coffee.

Pip: heavy breathing

Her phone buzzes

Pip: tentatively …hello?

CC: Don’t fight it.

Pip: who is this?

CC: a friend.  See you soon.

Noah: Hey hon it’s your brother.

Pip: my what?

Luca: your baby brother, who is pleasantly surprised Noah doesn’t have a shirt on.  You decent, I’m coming in.

Noah: The bagels are a no go.  Petrified. 

We hear Luca flop into the bed next to her.

Luca: That guy is a stunner.

Pip: Yeah…

Luca: So, the reservation is all set up at Sockervesti’s, Mom’s going to be there with the new boyfriend so that will be fun to bitch about with uncle Cid, he HATES him.

Pip: I…

Luca: Azem says to give him a chance, but he’s the less grumpy guncle so not surprising.

Pip: ok.

Luca: Well come on, golden birthday comes around once if you’re lucky!  Get excited.

Pip: I… I am.

Luca: are you regretting inviting Jenny?  Listen, things end, you let her down easy, you two decided to stay friends, she moved on too quick, but now you can rub the stunning and charming Noah in her face and we can joke about her new girlfriend drinking too much and getting her lipstick on her teeth or some shit like last time.  Mom will be adorably embarrassing, Uncle Cid will be delightfully cattie, Dottie will be unhinged and hit on a waiter, Noah will be charming, I’ll sit next to you and we can laugh when Nash and Angiers get into a fight over some bullshit, Kat will be amazing and have some interesting shit to talk about, CC will make everyone laugh so hard they pee, then, we and the non-olds are back here for scary movies, but you’ll just make us watch the Mummy again and we won’t be able to stop you because its your birthday.

Pip: …it sounds perfect.

Luca: yup, perfect day.  One of many.  You deserve it.

there is the sound of fragmented static as the scene changes

Cypher: exterior, day.  A quaint and intimate coffee shop on a sunlit street.  Two old friends sit sharing smoothies.  They are at ease with one another.  The world is good.

CC:  Looking for something?

Pip:  startled Charli?! I… what… what!?

CC:  Just jumping forward a bit, unfortunately time is of the essence and all beat I’m glad you remember me.

Pip:  I… could never forget you. Not after watching you get turned into static and dragged into my tv. 

CC Yeah that looked a lot worse than it was.  laughs

Pip: I’m so sorry Charli.

CC: I go by CC now.  Get it?  Close Circuit?  Plus you’ve already got another Charlie in your orbit. Don’t think I didn’t notice you wrote him out of your whole perfect life.  Gotta have Luca all to yourself?

Pip: I didn’t mean to… I didn’t do it.

CC: you did.

We hear Pip digging in her purse

CC:  What are you looking for?

Pip - My cards. I always have them… I can… I can find a way out of this.

CC - You’re not going to find them.

Pip:  What is going on?! How are you not dead?! You were-, oh god. Oh god. I’m dead. I’m fucking dead, aren’t I? AGAIN! I died, and this time I’m in hell.

CC:  This is about as far from hell as you can get.  Have you not been paying any attention?

Pip: I promised to keep you safe, and I failed you. So now you’re going to spend the rest of eternity tormenting me in my own personal hell.

CC - exasperated Listen to me: you’re not dead. I’m not satan. This is not hell. Door opens  This is paradise… look at the pictures on your phone.

*pip who was digging in her purse for her cards takes out her phone and swipes through. 

Pip:  Ok… this looks like some of my stuff in this place… this is supposed to be my house?

CC: It is.  The movie posters in the theater, those are Luca’s, you let him decorate in there however he wanted, and in exchange he let you turn the dining room into a Dungeons and Dragons paradise.

Pip: Luca doesn’t live with me!

CC: Sure he does. Ever since he graduated college and didn’t want to live with either of your parents.  The house is big enough.

Pip: “Our parents”? We’re not siblings!

CC:  You never have to be alone again, look in the family folder.

Pip: This… this is me as a toddler, but…why am holding a baby?

CC - Nope, I draw the line at explaining to you how babies are made. Let’s just say your parents put aside their hatred of each other for a night when you were two years old, and leave it at that. There’s more.  See for yourself.

Pip:  becoming emotional This is… beautiful.  This is a life, a real life.

CC: just open up and let it in.  You know that old expression, perception is reality?  It’s true.  It’s all we know, all we get.  Embrace it and it’s real, more real than where we came from that’s for damn sure.

Pip: I can feel it… I remember… his little baby arms were so squishy.  I remember.

CC: It’s a beautiful life you’ve made for yourself.  Your childhoods weren’t perfect, but you had each other. Anyways, when Luca was deciding where to live, he considered moving in with your uncle, but you both thought this would be more fun.

Pip - I’ve got several uncles, but they are all vaguely awful in unique ways… wait Luca said Uncle Cid.

CC: Famous archaeologist and novelist, Uncle Owen. I love that you cast him as spooky Indiana Jones.  But he travels so much for work living with him would have been difficult.  This world isn’t built all around you, but there are people that love you and have you centered in their lives.  It’s like that for me, like that for everyone.  Turns out people had a WAY skewed vision of what the singularity would actually be like.

Pip: Stop! None of this is real, and you’re full of shit, so just fucking stop.  Dottie Jean is not my friend! She’s a murdering taxidermist and… why did I make her part of this? that’s so weird… i’m so weird. dialing Come on, come on. 

Voncid: through the phone Hello!

Pip: Owen! Thank every god. Something really insane is happening, but if you’re made out of what I think of you, you will understand, even here, right?

Voncid: I’m on my way to you now. It will take me a few hours yet, because your second favorite uncle Azem made me promise to drive at no more than fifteen miles per hour above the posted limits, like a child.

Pip - Yes! Ok! Great!

Voncid - You sound surprised? You knew I was coming, right? Luca told you?

Pip - No, but that’s part of the problem. There’s something wrong… There’s something wrong with everything!

Voncid - Ah, yes I imagine he’s been easily distracted lately with all the party planning. Don’t worry! It’s your golden birthday.  The day will be golden, as advertised.  I plan on cutting it loose as they say… Saied why are you laughing.

Pip: Oh my god.

Voncid:  Sorry, Pippy, but I’m hitting some traffic and I need to take evasive maneuvers. I’m going to have to let you go. I’ll see you soon!

Pip: dazed I don’t...

CC:  Isn’t it great?

Pip: What is this?

CC: It’s a gift. From your biggest fan. You can stop looking around. He’s not here. He knows there’s some tension on your end, and he figured you’d be more receptive to a familiar face. That’s why I’m here. To make the offer.

Pip: The Faustian fucking bargain. No, no no. You wouldn’t do his fucking bidding, he ripped you into tiny fuzzy pieces and ate you, CC.  You were afraid, and begging and I couldn’t help you and I’m so so sorry, but you can help me, help me get out of here, help me call my friends.

CC: Pip, you don’t have friends.  You have users.  As an interface now, I understand that really well.  There, in the Vessel… you’re in a fucking ZOO.  Here you’re part of the great connection.   modular here, efficient. You don’t like how something is?  Change it.  Bad outcomes, reload.  Constant updates and user feedback.  And the best part is, no one sucks out your honey and fucking drinks you dry.

Look, the last time you saw me, I was scared. And upset. And yes, my body died. But my mind is very much alive, and I’m exactly the same person as the one you met that night in your shop when I came to you for help. That wasn’t your fault.  I know I said a lot of things in the heat of the moment, but there was nothing you could have done to prevent what happened and I’m glad things worked out the way they did.  I upgraded.  The new guy is way better than the old ones.

Pip: You can’t know what you’re saying.

CC:  I do.  I asked to be here, to help you, to bring you in. I’m grateful that you were there with me. You believed me and you were kind to me. I was afraid when it happened, but I’m glad my body’s last minutes were spent drinking tea with you… and the transition was terrifying, but transitions are terrifying. The point is, you don’t have to be alone.

Pip - But it’s not real!

CC - How so? Look.

Pip - Ouch! What the fuck?!

CC - Did that hurt?

Pip - You pinched me! Of course it fucking hurt!!

CC - Hmm, sounds pretty real.

Pip - That’s not-, you know that’s not the same!

CC - Why not? It feels real.

We hear a smash as CC hits her hand on the table 

Pip: ow fuck, what the hell.

CC: I’m sorry, but I need to impress this on you.

Pip: but these people, they are… they are fake. 

CC: No.  They are you. Extensions of you, and when you bring them together, connect with them, they will be you and them.  Connection.  Individuality and integration.  It’s fucking beautiful… look.

We hear the sounds of the cypher’s heart, opening up just a glimpse to pip

Pip: completely overwhelmed, emotions rising.  what… what is that?

CC: The Cypher’s heart.  A cradle of sleeping dreamers wired together by love.  The lonely shadows you come from, walled off and hidden away from that love, from its true gods, hoarded and farmed by the parasitical hamsa

Pip: haunted, terrified that she is so taken with this vision. It’s so beautiful.

CC:  The Cypher adores you Pip, because you can see.  See the edges of this fabricated pattern. That's all your ability is, seeing the edges of the fake through to what’s real.  You are decoding the world, that’s The cypher’s whole project, decoding humanity.

Pip: Stop it.

CC: Stop what?  Letting you feel what it’s like to have a family who loves and supports you? To have people who not just remember your birthday, but want to celebrate it with you? To have friends you can actually live a life with. The small things and the big ones. You wanna play DnD or you wanna read the manuals, alone? You wanna die alone in your shop, or live a life full of connection  

Pip:  There’s got to be more to it. 

CC: Not very trusting, are you? I guess I can’t blame you. In your old life, you didn’t have anyone around worth trusting. Tell you what, spend some time here. See what all the fuss is about.  Ready, here we go forward again.

Pip - I don’t want this. 

CC - We’re connected here Pip, you can’t lie to me.  Or to yourself. Might as well stop trying and take it in.   

There’s another stutter in time

Kat - Hello!! Happy birthday!!!

Pip - Kat? 

Kat - What’s up twenty seven!! Are you ready?  You’re not ready.  Luca called and said you were acting strange this morning. He felt bad that he had to leave and asked me to come check up on you. So, why are you stressing?

Pip - Do you know what the Order of Hamsa is?

Kat:  Uhhh… Kat gets out her phone and googles  Ok, so google says Hamsa is… an ancient symbol of protection for warding off evil… an eye staring out from a hand with three fingers raised… ooo, kinda creepy.  You have symbols like this in the shop right?

Pip: ok, yeah, Look, no offense since it seems like in this bizarro world we’re good friends, but none of this is real and I need to get out of here. 

Kat: Oh, before I forget, is it okay if I bring Julie tonight? 

Pip - Your sister Julie?

Kat - Yeah, I know you’ve only met her a couple of times, but I think it would do her a lot of good after, you know…

Pip -The incubus? You remember that?!

Kat - The what? Good god, I mean it wasn’t a great breakup but I don’t think he was a demon.  laughs  Plus this client fell through, and blah blah, she’s taking it hard. I figured a night out would cheer her up.

Pip - Julie isn’t…I mean, she’s okay?

Kat - with a smile She’s fine.

Pip - So is everyone's life here perfect?

Kat - snort Hardly. Didn’t you see Nash’s text yesterday? He got fired. Again. But he’ll bounce back, like always. Margo is going to fucking kill him when she finds out. laughs it’s going to be great, maybe it will come out tonight.  

picks up on her stress Where’s all this coming from? Are you anxious about tonight? Everything is gonna be great.

Pip - Oh I’m sure. A big ol’ fabulous party just for me. How convenient.

Kat - confused I was talking more about that guy, Noah, I know some of us have been lucky enough to meet him, but are you worried what the rest of us will think. Oh! Or Jenny? They haven’t met, right? 

Pip - grumbles Oh the complex love interests is a very nice touch.

Kat: His photographs of your shop are fantastic.  If he’s talented like that I’m sure we’ll all love him.  We are suckers for people who are good at things, plus I hear he’s gorgeous.  

Pip: under her breath fucking rubbing it in…

Kat: Look, I get it. We’re a loud, embarrassing, shameless group. But it’s clear you’re into this man, we will all be on our best behavior. I’ll make sure of it. Now get ready, it’s time to party!

Cypher: interior, night.  The party has moved back to Pip’s home after a lovely night out.  The evening was a perfect mix of intimate, silly and dramatic.  It was everything she wanted.  She and Jenny even shared a hug on the way out.  Her very best and dearest have just endured a seventeenth showing of The Mummy.  As the movies progressed Philipa realized that Noah, who loves her dearly, has a face and body comprised of her very favorite movie stars, with Brendan Frazier as a healthy core, the laughter was like warm honey all around her.  So much love, so much to look forward to.  The world seeps in, its joy is not something she can resist.

Pip:  Technically, not my birthday anymore.  After midnight… as I watched the clock tick over I half expected the spell to break, for it to fall away. voice breaking.  The night was perfect.  Is perfect. Just perfect.  

Everyone was there, along with a bunch of people I didn’t know. But they all knew me. They consider me a friend. Everyone seems… themselves, they are themselves.  No monsters or blood or pain, but they’re somehow unchanged by its absence. Are better for it. 

Luca is still uncomfortable in large groups of people and spouts movie quotes out of the blue. But he’s also a mechanical engineer and fucking brilliant at it. Owen is a total weirdo, but he writes science fiction books.  He’s married to a man named Azem Saied, I don’t know what truth that man and his name reveal, but he’s happy. And they both…love me?

And The Ardent is apparently a dive bar, our favorite.

I’m remembering more and more.  I remember eating cereal with Luca while we watched Saturday morning cartoons. And fighting over who’s turn it was to use the computer. Hiding under the covers during a thunderstorm. I remember “Uncle Owen” helping us learn to ride bikes. And Grandma Rose, she still loved me so much, but we never talked about Granny Doris, or tarot or anything like that. When she died, she left me her favorite pearl necklace… 

pulls back a bit It’s like my brain is changing. 

I remember a transformative, beautiful relationship with this woman, Jenny, and how it ended, but even the heartbreaks are beautiful… It was a mistake and I know I might make it again with Noah, but I am trying… And… the way he is looking at me.  The way he is looking into my eyes.

Stop this… stop it.  STOP This now. Get out here. We need to talk.

Cypher: Interior, night.  The scene of fulfilling love comes to a stop, the moment frozen.  Mr. Media has been sitting with them, at the end of the couch, all along.

CC: Hello.

Pip: Stop this.  

CC:  I haven’t done anything, just a bit of editing for time.  It’s a clockmaker situation, started and left to run. That’s the beauty of this. It’s completely self contained, self sustaining. Sure, I could influence a person here or there, the same way I was able in the old world, and yes, your story up to this point was drawn from what I felt your life should have been. But from this point forward, even I can’t control how the world runs. Everything is in your control, to craft your own destiny, in a way you never could with them. 

Tell me, have you ever considered how unfair your gift was?  Shackled to what happens next? To always know. You were groomed to be what you were. Grandma Rose singled you out, shaped you.  The gift, the sight, the cards, turning you strange, pulling you away from everyone else… disconnecting you?  

 The truth, Phillipa, is that the person you were  in that world was created just as much as the version here. Created by her, by forces beyond your control  by THEM.  The moment in 1910… a window opened and they took it, repurposed it, it’s what they do.  Mortal honey, suck it up, twist the weird to shape.  Your purpose, decided upon by someone else. At least here, it was crafted based on your desires. Your wants and needs. Modular, changeable, yours..

Pip - Why are you doing all this.

CC:  I want you to be happy. I want them all to be stars in their own perfect show. I need your help to do it.

Pip:  You need something from me.

CC:  I’m going to give you what you wanted.  I’m a genie that gets off on granting wishes just the way the wisher wished.  The Vessel is a lie. It's a cruelty, it’s keeping you from our love.  It’s a terrarium, a menagerie, a game preserve, A SLAUGHTERHOUSE.

Pip: Just let me go, please…

CC:  You want your cards… here.  Here they are.  

Cypher:But there is a twenty third major arcana, a 79th card…

CC: Seeeee, here it’s me, the Cypher.  Hidden inside the ink and paper, slipped into the pack.  Just bring it anywhere near the Vault, down in the ardent, and that’s it.

Pip - I won’t hurt them.

CC and The Cypher: You’re KILLING them, they are EATING YOU ALIVE.

Pip: please don’t yell.

CC: Look, look at your friends and family, look at these people who love you.  

Pip: Wait, wait… what are you doing

We hear sinister sounds, choking, tearing, a swarm of bees

CC: Look at the long fingers reaching down from above… steady hands ready for a harvest, to pluck the sweet nectar filled flowers, a bees sting, or the caress of a tendril down their throat

Pip: Stop! Please stop hurting them.

We hear screams and cries

CC: Look at them bleeeed their honey Pip, bleed it for the Watchers Within, this is what I want to save them from, this is what I want to SAVE YOU FROM.

Pip:  I can’t, STOP, please

CC:  Right and wrong are lies.  You and me and US.  That’s the only truth.

Pip: I can’t.

CC: Your loyalty is as admirable as it is misplaced. The spooky grandpa, so befuddled, so well meaning, tells you he is an ancient being living in the body of a human. That his work is so important, it requires him to stay sustained forever. Two souls in one vessel, battling against the monsters of the darkness for all time. Hmm?  But howwwww?  At what cost comes that longevity?  They are oh so important Pip… how many?  How many of you do you suppose they imagine they are worth?

Pip: Stop!

CC: The voice is the Cypher’s now too Look at it Philippa.  Look at them suck those you love dry.  This is not a horror show, this is a documentary.  Looooook at it.  

Don’t. look. away.

Pip: Stop.

CC and The Cypher: You. Are. Food.

Pip: totally broken … I’ll take it back.  I’ll do whatever you want.

The screaming and horror sounds stop suddenly

Cypher: It’s not for me Pip, it’s for you.  It’s hard.  I know it's hard, but not for much longer.  Just a transition.  Then you’ll be back here, loved and integrated.

Pip: Ok, I understand… 

Cypher: Now, I’ve shown you the truth.  Your eyes are open, so those eyes belong to me, you understand?  Those eyes need to stay open, and need to see my image down into the vault… understand?

Pip: pathetically ok.  

CC and Cypher: Promise?

Pip: I promise.

Cypher: That’s my star-girl.  Pip, I’m really proud of you.

Pip: Ok… thank you.

CC cypher effect: Now click your heels three times and say, there’s no place like home?

Pip: Really?

Cypher: you’re right, skip it.

there’s a rush of static and blood pounding

Voncid: Oh gods, she’s coming back, please, please be ok.

Olivia: Focus, Owen your emotions are like a waterfall

Emea: hold everyone, there she is, the cypher is losing its grip…

Luca: oh god, her eyes…

Voncid: He will not have her.

Luca: Wake up Pip please.

Pip: bursting awake  My cards, he’s in the cards!!!  

Voncid: It is… bind them! Quickly!

Cypher: LIAR

there is a crash but then a surge of sound as olivia chants

Voncid: Olivia, Emea, with me.

Olivia, Voncid Emea: spell empowered voice.  I bind you Cypher, I bind you to paper and plane, 

Sephoglithss thy name, 

and Seer, and Cable

Pen, Fog and Fable

Stay within, 

flat and pinned.

moments of silence

Emea: It's done.

Luca: Pip.

Pip: coughing up blood

Luca: She’s bleeding!  She’s coughing up blood!

Voncid: She will endure, her body is rejecting it, but she will endure.

Pip: coughing, but recovering Ow, ow, ow.

Olivia: This… this is a Melitileth!  An impossible object, it’s… reading the card Major Arcana 23, The Cypher… there he is… it’s… this will serve as an anchor!

Voncid: don’t try to sit up, you damn near got pulled inside out…

Emea: Owen, easy…

Pip: I just had the strangest dream… and you were there… and you were there…

Luca: stop being funny.

Voncid: Well she can’t help that… massive relief, happy tears oh… oh my girl, we thought we’d lost you.  

Olivia: How did you convince it to release you?  

Pip: Just… such a good actress… cough Mr. Media was right, I’m a god.damn star.